Ok, so I am writing this entry, but I am unsure if I received the baptism of the holy spirit. Two nights before it happened I felt some kind of energy flowing through my body. Then I watched this guy coach me into recieving the holy spirit baptism and I felt a liguid flowing down to my chest, but very light. Then as I started speaking in tongues as I was coached to do so I felt an out of body experience slightly and some sensation from it. I did not feel love or joy though. I went into my closet to pray in tongues more and I did feel it again and this time I cried, because I was imagining myself talking to God. After this a couple of times two different days my body would feel like it was on fire where I sweated so bad. It was an instant body change. At one point I prayed for it to stop because it was too hot. I don’t know if this is from God or not. I kept being woke up with feeling something moving in my body and I was lacking sleep both nights. I did not see words or feel anything to speak in tongues. I did not have any stomach feelings. I was depressed two day’s later, so I am assuming if you are baptized you will not have so many doubts or depression if you are feeling Christ or hearing him. I’ve prayed for confirmation from God. The only thing I got was no so far. Is this from my faith though? I still feel the freezing back and sickness caused by demons. I am always confused too and I think you would know without a doubt. I just worry my heart is so broken that is why I cannot receive it. This happened on the night of 5-2. I will wait for more confirmation or see if manifestations happen.
Update: I now know I was baptized the night Jesus came to baptize me in an earlier entry and he confirmed it with scriptures and a word I heard after waking the next morning. After learning God’s ways which took a lot of God to change my way of thinking, he showed me he baptizes our spirits not our flesh and we should trust and have faith in him to do it.
Today I did see something in the sky while taking my son to school that was white at first then it shined bright as a star at night, then the shine went away and it slowly disappeared. Also, the next day was my son’s birthday and me and my sister thought we saw something white above a house, but it disappeared real quick. Kinda like an angel wing.